Misanthropy is fun again!

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Poems I used to write poems often. Back in the day, I posted many of my poems on the web. Soon after, I found that writing poetry was a self-centered and unrewarding activity. But every now and then, it can be fun, and fun for other people to read. So for now, I'm posting just these three. I don't plan on winning any high-falutin' awards, but I think they're pretty funny. Hi Crack Whore! The Squirrel with a Giant Nutsack A Poem About Yogurt

The Seattle Big 10 I just wanted him to show me the Space Needle... Becoming the self-appointed welcome wagon in a city I've lived in less than 6 months iPod Sundays at The Satellite Winehoused! The technicolor wolf-dragon-man I think I finally figured out what he wants from me, and he can't have it! MS Transportation Failure "I think I'm going to die on this bus." "Perhaps we already have." Having to describe the weather I'm seeing only as "precipitation" because I really don't know what it is Kool-Aid Man Oh yeah! A t-shirt that reads, "Ask me why I'm stabbing you in the face." "WHY??? Koreans who love eggs Like the sky above... g00bs, a.k.a. Seattle men Love 'em or hate 'em, they make great blog fodder The Previous Big 10 The Summer Again Big 10 A year? Already? Free Hams Free hams will fill me! Free hams will thrill me! Why don't you feed me... FREE HAMS!!! The DMV in NYC Adding bubbles to your bath so you can actively ignore how dirty the tub is Gus's diamond status at Harrah's properties Congrats, baby! Bjorkestra The term alone has me excited Old friends The Master Cleanse My broken Sidekick Fuck T-Mobile. I'd flip the bird for emphasis but my hands are busy with this tablet and chisel Edys Loaded Butterfinger Ice Cream The Addiction is back Being annoyed that the right column is longer than the left My site needs a boob job The Big 10 Before That The Big Apple Big 10 It's up to you, New York My new office I miss everyone in the Austin office a lot, but these guys give me iced mochas Countertops... Whoa... Peeping Tom "You people live in Brooklyn because you can't afford to live in Manhattan." / "I do live in Manhattan! HAHAHAHA!" The never-ending quest for tortillas and Mach-3 razors I think I'm done questing for awhile Vacation sunglasses Hoboken If only for its great view of Manhattan The misguided libidinous dweebs on MySpace The new virus on my computer that allowed me to install a fart button Abnormally vivid dreams about monkeys That's a bit curious, George Waiting until I move across the country to update my Big 10 The Big 10 Way Before That The Linkless Big 10 Because you've had enough already! DSL and wireless Internet They got off to a rocky start, but now they're finally coexisting peacefully in my apartment Dim Sum Like most ethnic foods, it's even better here My refurbished Blogger template Trader Joe's It's better than your grocery store Feeling like I'm on vacation all the time People who actually speak web jargon Way to show your age! LOL Haight Street I'm sure there are "much cooler" places to go in San Francisco, but I don't care The DaVinci Code My car Never thought I'd appreciate it so much until I had to spend a lot of time in the backseat of someone else's Still figuring out what to do with the new-fangled Big 10s The Big 10 Way WAY Before That The Big 10 of 2004 If popular cable channels can do it, so can I We took home the best dog ever The revival of PlatKat.com I've come a long way, baby! The first season of Home Movies on DVD Put marbles in your nose/No do not put them there! Men who still think women can't play poker Your ignorance is cash in my pocket My pink hair Now everyone's really jockin' me like they know me Freebirds North Fuck Chipotle (a subsidiary of McDonald's) A full-sized U-Haul truck being hauled by a larger truck Going to Oklahoma more times in one year than ever before I saw a cow Sammiches Why say it correctly? Ask the maker of the 8500-calorie one. Spending too much time contemplating what to do with all of my archived Big 10s The Big 10 Way WAY WAY Before That A Very Space-Saving Big 10 Netflix I'm on the bandwagon at last! The new They Might Be Giants video on homestarrunner.com Fish tacos from Zapatos Perhaps the only good thing about College Station Adult Swim What bumps will those crazy kids think of next? The movie, Frida Better than they say, not as good as it could have been That guy who blew up an outhouse because he lit a cigarette while taking a shit Super Puzzle Fighter Las Vegas Hell on earth, but I was just visiting The amendment banning same-sex marriage was defeated in the Senate Good to hear we're staying in the 21st century Crappy free cds from college Although they give my desk a cluttered, retro look, I'm still not listening to them Kat's Really Old Big 10s

Scrolling is so 2001.

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