PlatKat.com: June 2005

Friday, June 24, 2005

Not Awesome

Did Blogger mess up my .css, or did the .css gnomes mess up my .css? Either way, the line spacing in this blog is seriously not right and it's not my fault. I hope I have internet access when I get home so I can adjust this mother. After I go to the pool and drink some wine. Er, maybe I'll just wait till tomorrow.

posted by platkat @ 1:58 PM 0 million people love The Kat

Not My Idea

Went out to lunch. Had some margaritas. It seems to be a common thing here. Especially on Fridays. Now I am buzzed just enough to not want to do any work. All I can think about is sitting by the pool with a glass of pinot grigio and getting a tan. God, I miss being tan. I also miss working out every morning (I don't have a gym here yet). My figure hasn't suffered, but I'm sure it will if I don't keep running, as evidenced by some of my older former colleagues.

Right now, I'm listening to one of my favorite running songs, "Move Your Feet" (appropriate), by Junior Senior. This guy saw them last night and I'm totally jealous. I haven't seen them play since SXSW 2004. Poor me.

I'm glad I got here early today because I'm definitely leaving early. Tomorrow I'm going to Pinot Days in San Francisco. Looks like it's going to be all Pinot Noir, which is okay (I prefer those to most reds), but with a little luck (and cooperation from my comrades) I'll be able to hit up a place with some good white afterward.

I'm all out of news. Let the countdown begin. As I listen to "The Girl with the Sun in Her Head" by Orbital. Yes, I'm old school. Why keep looking for new shit when you've already found what you like?

posted by platkat @ 1:28 PM 1 million people love The Kat

Thursday, June 23, 2005

For the Love of Goober

So yesterday I'm standing in the Jams & Jellies aisle of the Safeway, eyeing the spreadable condiments for the best deal. I'm there for the peanut butter. Oh yes, the peanut butter. I know I want some of that.

Shelved above the peanut butter and next to the jelly is the most ingenious product ever invented. Bearing a label with cartoons of happy fruit and peanuts, proud to be swirled together for the sake of unending deliciousness, this glass jar screams, "I'm Goober and you know you want me."

I stood in the aisle for a good five minutes, I'm sure. I was already buying peanut butter ('cause sometimes you just want a plain ol' peanut butter sammich). Did I really need another peanut butter-esque item? But I do have a penchant for foods I can eat straight out of the jar leaving no messy cleanup. I'm not even going to kid myself into thinking I might actually make a sandwich with this stuff. It was going to be spoon-to-mouth or nothing at all. Is this a sign that I've truly hit rock bottom? Sitting at home eating a big jar of Goober with a spoon? I haven't done that since college! Of course not, I concluded. Hitting rock bottom would entail living out of a garbage can and not being able to afford Goober, which I'll admit, is a bit pricier than the cost of peanut butter and jelly separated in equal amounts. But like Ben & Jerry's ice cream, the unique tasty flavor and lack of comparable substitutes overrides the reasonably higher price for this item.

SOLD!!!

Goober, I love you. *hugs*

Addendum: But not the grape kind displayed here. Strawberry is a far superior flavor of jelly, as it is better than just about any grape-flavored food in the world. Do you drink grape milkshakes? Do you eat the grape Skittles first? Of course not. Because grape is just nasty... unless you're eating grapes. Or drinking wine.

posted by platkat @ 9:28 AM 1 million people love The Kat

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Hating Cell Phones in All New Ways

The most annoying thing about cell phones used to be how obnoxious some people behave while using them. Now, it's how high my bill is for last month because I didn't know I went over my 600 "whenever" minutes. That's a lot of minutes for someone who hates talking on the phone anyway!

This month, of course, I've only used 300 minutes. The cell phone month ends on the 25th. Ughhhh. I wish you could backward-apply minutes. Instead of "rollover," they could be "fall back." You're like, "Crap! I've learned my lesson. I'm going to use fewer minutes the following month," and when you carry out the month like a good little phone-user and use only half the minutes you paid for, you can then use them as a "fall back" plan for paying for the previous month.

Great idea, Kat! To any wireless provider reading this, I will totally use your services if you have a plan feature like that. And offer free phones identical to my Sidekick. (riiight)

posted by platkat @ 2:04 PM 0 million people love The Kat

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Poignant

A member of Fark, a newsgroup I frequent (heavily frequent), is currently suffering a tragedy. His wife is brain dead with no chance for recovery and she is carrying their unborn child.

There IS hope for the baby, so her family is taking donations to offset the $1500/day ICU costs as we count down the days until she can give birth. I'm sure the husband isn't working at a time like this, so I imagine they have many other financial problems as well.

A lot of people on Fark made donations to the Susan Torres Fund. The thread for this posting made me feel all squishy inside, so I donated too. Most people donated around $20, (every little bit helps!) and I bet the power of Fark will pay for at least a day.

It was nice to see a bunch of people who normally bicker about media, politics, and grammatical errors come together and do something nice. :-)

As of July 21, mother and baby are still doing well. I was happy to read this article and learn that the family has received over $400,000 in donations. Yay!

posted by platkat @ 2:07 PM 0 million people love The Kat

Monday, June 20, 2005

This short tale called The Aphrodisiac Prank is probably the funniest thing I've read in awhile. This is the best cure for boredom, unhappiness, and possibly a dry spell with your mate, since the dinner he makes his wife at the end looks really good with the exception of the oysters. I would definitely eat pistachio pudding with green M&Ms on it, in addition to a large chocolate rabbit garnished by strawberries.

posted by platkat @ 4:21 PM 0 million people love The Kat

Weekend Weekend Bo Beekend

Expecting to do nothing on Friday, I ended up going to the Friday social at work with a couple of people who sit near me. While I was hanging out there, Damon buzzed me to see if I wanted to go back to 1015. I liked the crowded, multi-room "rave cave" (thanks, Fiona), so I said yes and we took off.

Unfortunately, I had this massive cystic zit from hell on my cheek and it was still healing. I solved this problem by wearing huge black sunglasses that covered most of my face all night. Yes, I was one of those lame fuckers who wears sunglasses inside. Since I don't even try to pretend that I'm cool, I figured it was okay and better than sporting some giant zit all night. Also, I was surrounded by ostentatious hair colors, intricately assembled outfits, and attention-whore accessories (hula hoops??), so I felt as though my antics would be barely noticeable. But no, I still got flack for the sunglasses. "Oh it's so bright in here," moaned some I-just-moved-from-the-suburbs-to-be-a-rockstar-in-the-city asswipe. I should have picked off my scab and made him eat it.

At one point in the evening, I was on the dancefloor when some jerk walked by and we knocked shoulders. He gave me the look of death, and although he couldn't see it, I gave him the look of, "Tough shit, you're on a dancefloor" and kept dancing. Are there actually people in this world who expect people to clear a path for them for no other reason than they want to walk by? I didn't know that guy from Adam and the club was crowded. Yeah, there's gonna be some human contact involved. If you don't like it, stay home. Or at least stay off the dancefloor.

Damon spent most of the night in the pillow room way upstairs and chilled. I'd been drinking rum and cokes all night (we got started at an 80s nostalgia bar down the street), so I left my purse behind a big stuffed tiger and danced elsewhere. Unfortunately, when I needed another drink, I couldn't find my way back to the pillow room, so I had to solicit people for info.

"If I were looking for a giant tiger with pillows in front of it, which way would I go?"

I eventually found Damon, got bored (again, I wasn't in the mood for sitting), and went to the breezeway to have a cigarette. There I met some Irish guys who kept asking me why I was wearing sunglasses. So I kept asking them why there were so many goddamn Irish people in San Francisco. They were on vacation and looking for an afterhours club. I told them about VXN, but could not find any more information. I ended up walking around some and their ringleader followed me. But I was like, "Dude, I don't know." And one other guy in the Irish pack was mad because I spilled his drink which he left unattended on a ledge in a dark room after 2:00. Prepositions are great.

Damon and I left pretty early. The music was starting to grate on him and I wasn't loving it as much as last time. We couldn't find anywhere to eat near 101, so we went to McDonald's. Yuuuuuck. I totally hate that place and immediately remembered why after they wouldn't let me substitute a milkshake for a coke as part of a value meal even though it was their entire ad campaign a couple years ago. I went without the shake and begrudgingly ate the quarterpounder, feeling the awkwardness of cheap meat being masticated by my jaw. Fuck you, McDonald's!

The morals of this story are don't eat at McDonald's, dance on the dancefloor, and don't mess around with girls in big dark sunglasses. They're nothing but trouble.

posted by platkat @ 4:17 PM 0 million people love The Kat

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

I'm So "Vein"

My mp3 player got burninated, so I walked to work sans tunage. It kind of sucks because I don't want to hear el creepos honking at me, and now that I'm used to walking with music, going without is kind of boring. I get songs stuck in my head, so I sing them while I walk to let it all out. Today's song was Carly Simon's "You're So Vain."

But since I was more aware of my surroundings, I was able to spot a razor lying on the sidewalk. Not the kind you shave with, but the kind you try to slit your wrists with even though someone will obviously find you before you're not even close to dying because such razors don't make deep enough incisions and it will take you forever to lose enough blood to even slip into unconsciousness. It was a cry-for-help razor. And it was a good find, since Walmart put an annoyingly adhesive sticker on my windshield after changing my oil. Fucking Walmart.

I didn't know where to put the razor, so I just held it as I continued walking to work. As people approached me on the sidewalk, a lot of them looked at me, eyeballed my hand, and quickly moved aside. When I thought about it, I guess walking down the street singing a song that you only know a few of the words to brandishing a razor is somewhat odd.

So I tucked the razor inside my wallet and began singing Frank Sinatra's "I've Got You Under My Skin" instead.

posted by platkat @ 8:37 AM 0 million people love The Kat

Thursday, June 09, 2005

On Krispy Kreme Donuts

If it's true that you are what you eat, then you can call me Creamy McHardDonut.

"Heeeeey," yells some witless frat boy from the peanut gallery. "That's like the perfect porn star name."

Shut up, asshat.

Yes, I walked over to Building 6 for a Krispy Kreme donut. I ain't too proud! It wasn't one of those plain ones that tastes like two bites of burnt sugar and sits in your stomach like a rock for three hours. This was one of the chocolate-covered cream-filled ones that tastes okay... but still sits in your stomach like a rock for three hours.

Cream isn't supposed to be crispy anyway, and neither word is spelled with a K. I should have bought Krispy Kreme stock when I lived in Louisiana and they started to pop up all over the Deep South and spread like an addictive, artery-clogging disease all over the Lower 48.

Back then, I cared more about my fellow man and didn't think it was right to profit from the masses' unhealthy decision to eat donuts every morning. Now, I see that my fellow man is an idiot. You can't help folks that can't help themselves I guess.

Anyway, Krispy Kreme was just a fad and their shit has levelled off by now.

posted by platkat @ 7:57 AM 0 million people love The Kat

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Keep Austin Weird?

As many of my friends will concur, the saying, "Keep Austin Weird," is really stupid. The morons who buy those stupid t-shirts are just conforming to whatever stereotype they're trying to block. Such banal garbage is right up there with "78704–more than a zip code, a way of life." Nope, it's really just a zip code.

As I roamed the streets of San Francisco this weekend, I thought about Austin and how I can be just about anywhere in that city and know exactly where I am. Navigating the city is pretty simple, and finding the right places to hang out is as easy as a couple of phone calls and half an ear to the ground. In fact, Austin is downright familiar. Austin makes sense.

San Francisco, however, does not make sense. Chewbacca.

posted by platkat @ 5:09 PM 0 million people love The Kat

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

There's been a pinecone in the women's bathroom for about a week now.

What's up with THAT?

posted by platkat @ 4:46 PM 1 million people love The Kat

Friday, June 03, 2005

Friggin' SWEET

You can create your own homepage in Google. Is this news or have I been living under a rock? It's nice because it doesn't have all the extra crap that Yahoo has, but as a result, there's less crap to choose from too. I'm sure some slick programmer will create some more options at some point, Googler or not.

posted by platkat @ 11:46 AM 0 million people love The Kat

Thursday, June 02, 2005

I'm still working on my blog post about See-What-Happens-Larry, but I've posted a semi-robust work-in-progress. I am so happy to be living with such nice people in such a nice place. If I were still LJing, I'd say I was "content". :-)

posted by platkat @ 4:04 PM 0 million people love The Kat

I'm a Big Fat Nerd

I'm building a nation on nationstates.net and I'm liking it.

Also, I'm wickedly excited about the prospect of participating in a Blogger usability study. Beyond getting 50 bucks out of it, I really want to see what they have in store for future versions.

*snort* *shuffles away nervously*

posted by platkat @ 1:52 PM 1 million people love The Kat

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Damn, It's June Already!

Tis the season to get married and have babies, it seems. One of the baby-makers so graciously left a cake for all of us to enjoy as the fruits of his (and no doubt, his wife's) labor. Chocolate cream filling. Delicious!

I had lunch with a guy who is going to be married this month and another guy whose wife is having a baby. The guy who was about to get married was telling us all of the ridiculous details involved in planning a wedding. He admitted that he didn't really care what kind of plates they use or what the cake looks like, but that he has to pretend to so he doesn't get in trouble. As an adult, I hope the only "trouble" I'll ever have to worry about getting into is with the law. Sounds scary, but I'd rather have a run-in with a nasty cop once than a run-in every day for the rest of my life with a nasty spouse and/or in-laws!

The guy with the forthcoming baby could often trump the stories of pre-wedding silliness. His mother-in-law spent thousands of extra dollars on new chair-covers for his wedding because the first ones didn't match the bride's dress. That's thousands of extra dollars that could have been spent on a badass honeymoon.

The talk of marriage and babies and the month of June reminded me that my mom was getting married and about to have a baby (me) around this time at my very age. Yikes! I can't even imagine doing one of those things at this point in my life. I'm still getting over the fact that it's already June. Put a baby in my stomach and I'd be loony. Put a wedding on my calendar and I'd be Fucking Insane.

I don't know what it is about weddings, but they make normal women go batshit crazy. I watched my predecessor at TFA plan her wedding and come to work complaining of controlling in-laws and messed up plans. I watched my predecessor at NI do the same thing, and although she didn't go insane in front of me, I think she wanted to at times.

Why do people still have weddings???

I don't think I've ever really had fun at a wedding. Do the bride and groom have fun at weddings? They look too stiff and contrived to really be enjoying themselves. I don't understand the point. I can see why one would want to celebrate their love and commitment to their life partner, but putting on a white dress and playing a game of keeping up with the Joneses can't be the only way to do it.

Incidentally, I call Gus my life partner. Does that make us gay?

(Kidding.)

posted by platkat @ 3:23 PM 2 million people love The Kat

Archives