I spent some of my morning at the gym and ate my first meal in Singapore at Peach Blossoms inside my hotel. They were running an all-you-can eat dim sum promotion.
While I stuffed my craw with delicious fried thingies, I watched as an older woman cooed a baby in a high, breathy voice, exclaiming, “Fuck it! Fuck it! Fuck it!” It made for a nice impromptu Benny Lava session. Then I heard someone’s cell phone ring with the Happy Tree Friends theme song. Yeah, I’m gonna like here.
When the waitress came by with my first round of plates, she said, “You eat soup first.” But like the tea and most of the hot items I ordered, it was served with a torrent of steam rising from it. I know she was trying to be helpful, but I wished I could explain that I’d like to wait for it to stop being on fire first.
My favorite dish was the pan-fried cheong fun in XO chili sauce. I also had shrimp and waterchestnut wontons and steamed yam cake with Chinese sausage, and about 40 other things.
Even my cold mango dessert came to me under a cloud of smoke. The white bubbling stuff at the bottom is dry ice.
Once I was convinced that wouldn’t kill me, I enjoyed every bite of that too. Then, having consumed everything possible, I went back to my room for a nap. Ah, vacation…