Wednesday, March 26, 2008
What I Wanted to Say Today
"No, I don't have a follow-up scheduled right now. How about you concentrate on doing everything you were supposed to do a month ago and I'll make another appointment when you get your shit together."
"Social Quicktip #35: Stop acting like an awkward dweeb every time you are confronted with another human being! And get out of my way!"
"I'd like a taco salad. Oh wait, no I wouldn't... because I already know it's going to taste fucking horrible. The salsa is going to have no flavor, the guacamole is going to be littered with extra ingredients, and you're going to put it in the stalest, driest taco shell that can possibly be obtained from anywhere on this earth."
"Your status message says you're away. Where are you?"
"The writers aren't being difficult because they just received a lot of poorly-kept documents to fix. They're being difficult because they're complete social mongoloids who need to learn how to do their jobs better. And since none of them are here right now, you're wasting an hour of my day talking about this because no one in this room can even begin to take steps toward correcting this problem."
"TAKE IT OFFLINE."
"Oh, you're thinking about leveraging the new editing tool so we can use XML for its intended purposes? Smashing idea, Johnson!"
"You simultaneously creep me out and bug the shit out of me more and more every day. Did you take a fucking class to obtain this skill?"
"Trying to get food when you're not hungry is like shopping for clothes after gaining weight. Can I hang out at the desk with you for awhile?"
"I can has gloworms please?"
"Please?"
