PlatKat.com: Ten for Tuesday

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Ten for Tuesday

1. I hate the phrase, "in over your head." You're not really "in" anything; things just happen to be fucked up at the moment. If you were actually "in over your head," there would be no time for discussion, so most situations don't warrant such a dire metaphor. Perhaps my long-repressed disdain for that phrase is just the result of a childhood mishap in the ball pit at Showbiz Pizza.

2. Am I turning into Michael Jackson? It seems like every time I open my purse, I find one glove. I'm not going to walk around wearing one glove. And I sure as hell ain't goin near no children.

3. Yes, your third-trimester pregnancy does make you look fat.

4. I really like mayonnaise, but I'm not sure if I want to walk all the way to the cafeteria to get it. I'm not characteristically lazy, but the idea that I'm going to pat myself on the back for burning a few extra calories on a walk just to pick up some more calories is boggling my mind. I think I'll try eating this sandwich without mayonnaise and spare myself the headache.

5. There ain't no party like a West Coast party because I'm on the West Coast now and I throw a good fuckin' party.

6. What's red and hairy and covered with Polysporin? My armpit! Hahahahahahaha!

7. I saw a sign outside a pho restaurant that read "Sandwitches." I don't want a witch made out of sand, or a sandwich made by a place that can't spell the word correctly. They should just stick to making soup.

8. I told someone I was on the game show, The Weakest Link, and five seconds later, he found this.

9. I miss Texas because you see shit like this.

10. People ask me when I'm going to have kids, and I show them this.

posted by platkat @ 1:29 PM