PlatKat.com: Damn Skippy, I Keep a Koozie at My Desk

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Damn Skippy, I Keep a Koozie at My Desk

That's right, I work at a company that gives me free Mountain Dew every day, so you better believe I'm guzzling that shit like there's a world shortage. But while each can of Mountain Dew tastes better than the last, the properties of aluminum cans remain a constant. When the drink inside is cold enough for enjoyable consumption, the can is overly cold to the touch. When the can is comfortable to hold, the drink inside slowly begins to resemble piss-water. The cure for this problem? A blue cylindrical foam marketing tool that bears the insignia of band you've never heard of, an event you've never been to, an insurance company you've never used, a product that is no longer sold, or a charitable organization you have no interest in joining. It is only through these freely-distributed ingenious devices that we caffeine-addicted humans can obtain optimal enjoyment of canned carbonated products. Until someone finds a way to comfortably inject this sugary goodness directly into my veins, koozies will keep on rockin' in the free world, which is also known as the junk drawer of my desk.

Everyone should always keep a koozie at their desk!!

posted by platkat @ 3:50 PM