Friday, March 28, 2008
Cookie Party!
Today it snowed very hard. It was a big surprise, as evidenced by all of my coworkers unnaturally conversing about the snow, all of my friends asking me about the snow, the TotalFark thread about the snow, and random people I saw throughout the day reacting moronically to the snow. Snow, snow, snow.
Snow.
In light of this natural phenomenon, it was only fitting that I save myself the grueling walk to the cafeteria in another building 100 miles away and instead walk to my friend's car 10 feet out the door and go get sushi. After we finished our lunch and I made a football out of my chopsticks wrapper which I erroneously flicked over my friend's head and onto the table of a couple seated near us, we quickly escaped to the Asian market next door. There, I purchased three items: /$!3@#s^&, Hello Panda, and Choco Digestive.
/$!3@#s^&
Oh /$!3@#s^&... what are you, /$!3@#s^&? Your package is a mystery wrapped in a riddle, and can be used as a short strand of oversized anal beads. The only indication of its contents is a strawberry at the top. But upon opening my sex toy candy, I found there was much more than met the eye: In addition to strawberry flavored gummy candy slightly resembling fun-fruits, there were little balls of chocolate mixed in. Score!
Hello Panda
Well! Hello yourself, little guy--Ah shit, it's gonna maul me to death! Take cover! Whew. Now that we're safe, Hello Pandas are chocolate-filled chocolate cookies that tasted exactly like the discontinued Koala Yummies of yesteryear, which can now be obtained under the moniker, Koala March.
Choco Digestive
This is perhaps the boldest purchase of the three. Though its package is unassuming, the name was too curious to ignore. It has always been a given that I digest my chocolate after I've eaten it, but this product seemed intent on driving the point home. Would these cookies help me digest food better? Would they give me indigestion? Would they accelerate the digestion process? What is going to happen when I eat these?? So far, nothing. I ate at least four of them, but they seem to be moving through my digestive tract with the same ease as regular cookies. The day isn't over yet, so if I end up shitting rainbows (instead of the usual rose petals), I'll post a follow-up.
