How much do you miss it, Kat?

Well, I miss Texas so much that I visited a friend (also from Texas) who had a giant map of the state in her bedroom. She went to make some soup or use the bathroom or something, so with nothing better to do, I climbed up onto her bed to get a closer look at the cities, roads, and tiny towns that make up my favorite state in the US.

I reminisced about my first visit to Texas, San Antonio specifically, and looked at the highways that extended from it, I-10 going east to Louisiana, and I-35 going north to Austin. Austin! Yay, there’s my town, and all the sexy urban sprawl developing around it. Hey there, Round Rock, you’re gettin’ mighty big!

You can take 71 before having to hop on I-10 to Houston, where my sister is and where my parents were. There’s their old suburb, Kingwood. If Houston was a person, Kingwood would definitely be one of its armpits. Big stink, no soul.

There’s Dallas where my aunt is, and halfway back to Austin is Waco, where everyone’s crazy and I supported my first election. Took me a minute to find Bandera County, which was my favorite business travel experience. I drove on the prettiest road in Texas three times that Election Day: Highway (County Road?) 337 from Vanderpool to Medina. I think the polling place at Vanderpool had four voters show up the entire day.

Speaking of tiny-ass towns, there’s the route Barbara and I took when we crash-landed in Amarillo and had to drive all over creation, training 4 counties in 5 days, spread out all over the middle of nowhere. Hey Lipscomb County with the bitchy county clerk, hope you’re staying farmy and holy in the name of Jesus Christ our sacred Lord who died for all our sins, etc.!

Oh Texas, Texas I love you so much…

About 15 minutes later, my friend returns to her bedroom. She looks at me nervously as I hop off the bed and ask her what she wants to do.

“What were you doing?” she asked.

“Lookin’ at Texas,” I responded innocently.

“Holy shit, Kat. You’ve been sitting on my vibrator the whole time!”

If I’d known, maybe I would have turned it on.


  1. claire says:

    If you should ever want to visit Houston, I shall gladly host. Half my bed can be yours for the stay, and we can go eat tasty sammiches at the Hobbit. Mmmmm…

  2. Anonymous says:

    Methinks you miss Texas the way I miss Austin. In which case what we need are time machines, not plane tickets.

    But indulge yourself innocently to your heart’s content. There are far worse things to reminisce with than maps and vibrators.

  3. Ruhmann says:

    Texas misses Kat, too.

  4. Texas Heat says:

    Took me time to read all the comments, but I really enjoyed the article. It proved to be Very helpful to me and I am sure to all the commenters here! It’s always nice when you can not only be informed, but also entertained! I’m sure you had fun writing this article.