PlatKat.com: Atlantic City

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Atlantic City

I've discovered the secret to winning money at the craps table in Atlantic City: Don't make any hardway bets, and be in the late stages of a master cleanse.

Once again, I arrived in AC on Day 10 of my cleanse. Gus and I had a nice free room at the Borgata, the most decent digs in town IMHO. Instead of staking out the craps table till 8am and passing out in the room for a few hours only to hustle it outta there by noon, I took advantage of the hotel's many amenities.

I played craps for awhile, but got a full night's sleep in my comfortable bed. The next morning I went to the gym, which overlooks the pool. It's no Las Vegas Caesar's (you can still kind of see the main road), but it's as good as it gets. Near the gym was a salon that carries my favorite line of hair products. I know my poker friends would cringe at this, but buying a bottle of Kerastase Oleo Relax was one of the highlights of my trip. Sorry.

After making myself pretty using every square inch of floor and counter space in my big bathroom, I actually went downstairs and played poker. I was planning to play $3/6 Limit until Gus woke up. I waited for about 10 minutes and then a floor manager approached me offering a seat at a $1/2 No-Limit table. I dislike waiting much more than I dislike non-tournament no-limit games, so I sat.

As I produced a $100 chip from my pocket's stash of last night's winnings, I witnessed the first display of douchebaggery that morning. I had a little chatterbox sitting next to me. He was probably in his mid-30s and loved to talk about money, how much he and his friends partied, the problems of the world, no topic was taboo. The man on his other side was humoring him. I tuned it out.

Then a mousy Asian waitress approached with his coffee. He was talking a mile a minute about mortgage rates and the poor girl was afraid to interrupt him. Finally the other guy tipped him off that she was there and he turned so she could hand him the coffee.

"Oh thank you so much. You're beautiful. You're really beautiful," he said condescendingly and handed her a chip.

Feeling awkward, she's still trying to hand him the coffee and stumbled a little bit.

"Oh, oh, did it burn you?" he said with obvious overconcern.

"No," she stammered, "I thought I burned you."

"No, I'm fine. But you could burn me because you're just so hot," he replied. "You're burning me right now."

I don't even know what she said in return, I was busy trying not to burst out laughing at this guy's pathetic attempt to talk to an attractive woman who was clearly uncomfortable in his presence. I think our whole side of the table was with me.

Turns out this guy was as much of a card player as he was a ladies man. I saw him play a bunch of hands without winning a single pot. That doesn't say a whole lot, since I was only at the table for about 45 minutes.

I managed to make about $50 stealing pots before I saw Gus at a craps table across the way and decided to join him. My biggest money-maker was raising on the button with A10o, pushing everyone out but one player. KQx came on the flop and he checked so I bet semi-large. An ace came on the turn; I think he paired it but he just checked so I bet again. He thought about it for a long time and he folded. I'm pretty sure we would have split that pot if he'd called me down. It's also possible he had paired his junk and didn't think it would hold up.

Who cares? I won. (Kidding.) And then I took off to hang out with Gus. Ladies man tried to talk to me a few times, but I wasn't having it. I realize I look kind of scary with the black hair and the bangs and the confusing Adidas jacket, so I was pretty much left alone. It's a good thing.

There is little else to report, except that the Borgata no longer has free room offers on Friday and Saturday nights, so our chances of staying there again are pretty slim. We get free room offers from Harrah's-owned properties, so we'll probably be sticking with those if we have another weekend to get away. Case in point, our three free nights at the Flaming O this October. Amanda's celebrating her birthday in Vegas this year... because she's a genius.

posted by platkat @ 6:31 PM