Note: This post contains a bunch of maps linked from Google. You may need to refresh a few times to see them.
Last night I ran my first Hash. The Hash House Harriers is a social group for runners that has a presence in most major cities. If you aren’t familiar with Hash, the FAQ on that site is somewhat helpful, if not entertaining. My favorite:
Q: Are you not listening to me?
A: Gus was talking to me. Sorry. What did you say?
Funny, I find myself saying that very thing… Yeah, these folks have my kind of attention span. It was actually due to my short attention span that I found this group. Long-time lover of Fark, I was whiling away the day reading random news articles, growing more and more ashamed of our current society’s rough draft of history.
I came across this story, further supporting my fatalistic attitude. A couple of runners are facing felony charges for using powder to mark their running trail. (Citizens of the US, can you call me when you’re finished being paranoid asshats please? KTHXBYE.) Someone in the Fark forum posted a link to the Hash House Harriers, internet magic happened, and thus I began a very long evening run, a.k.a. my first hash.
We started off at Vol de Nuit on West 4th Street. I don’t know why I was surprised it was a bar and not some kind of indie sports shop like Austin’s RunTex. Their slogan is “Drinkers with a running problem.” I was amply warned. Part of the draw for me was the possibility of finding people who like stay in shape as much as I do, but also share my penchant for alcoholic beverages.
I introduced myself to a group of people wearing running shorts and drinking beer. I made efforts to engage in their uncomfortable small talk (cringe) until it was time to go.
“So you brought your walkman in case we’re boring, eh?” said one of the guys. I explained that I ran there from 33rd and 3rd and the comment died.
“That’s hardcore. Must’ve been like pinball.”
Indeed it was… I left my house a little after 6 and tried to run on the least-trafficked avenue I could find. Park Avenue worked okay, but I still had to do quite a bit of people-dodging. Once I got past Union Square, I gave up and walked the rest of the way.
My route, more or less:
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A short while later, the 40 or 50 of us moved to our official starting point at 4th and 6th. One of the leaders, or “hares” gathered the newcomers (of which there were at least a dozen–sweet) to explain what was going to happen: A few sprinters had just started running. They would mark their path with arrows and the group was to follow them. He drew several symbols on the sidewalk and explained their meanings. It wasn’t going to be easy, and we would probably get lost. We were given a number to call in case we got really lost. We weren’t told how far we were running or where we would finish. I asked if we would at least end up somewhere in Manhattan. The guy shrugged. Good thing I brought my walkman, er–iPod (cringe-cringe). Unfortunately, it was the only thing I brought, not knowing they had a bag drop, which was provided by some nice person who didn’t mind hauling a bunch of stuff across the city.
We took off running in smaller groups through the Lower West Side, searching for arrows. I joined and unjoined and rejoined various small groups, surverying the troops for folks who looked like they knew where they were going. The first half hour was a mess and we were sort of like this:
And from an aerial view, we looked like this:
Finally, someone yelled, “On-on,” meaning they found an arrow and decided to follow it. Moments later, we were running up West Side Highway, which was cool because I don’t get out to the West Side much. The highway has a trail that runs along the water and there is some aesthetically pleasing vegetation to admire.
Our somewhat larger group had been pared down to a half-dozen people or so. I spent most of my time running with a talkative girl named Joanna. She was from Miami and New Jersey (kind of in the same way I’m from Austin and Chicago), and seemed to like her sports. She was a nice person, but once the name and location of our final destination had been disseminated, I was ready for running to be personal again. I put on my headphones and took off. I did it in a really non-offensive, I-just-wanna-do-this kind of way. Really.
The end point was Jake’s Dilemma on the Upper West Side. I really dig the bar, but the location ensures that I won’t be back for awhile. I waltzed my non-ID-having ass right on in and mingled with the early finishers. As the rest of the group arrived, people were complaining about how rough the run was. And about how they were getting carded when all their stuff was clearly right inside. I didn’t think it was that bad. Maybe it’s a sign I’m getting good at this. (Both running and inconspicuous bar-entering.)
This also marked the first day of my fourth master cleanse, so I had to forego the beer and just drink a few glasses of water instead. It sounds counter-intuitive, but being on the cleanse made this run possible. I usually hate running at night because I can feel everything I ate that day bouncing around in my stomach. Thanks to the cleanse, no food-jumbling was involved. And per the cleanse’s main promise, I had lots of energy.
This energy made it possible for me to run from the Upper West Side to Gus’s work on 59th and Lex…
And then walk home with Gus…
…without dying.
I think over the course of the evening, I ran a half-marathon. Heh.