I am happy to report that my Ryan Christopher sighting proved fruitful. If you clicked the link and read the comments, you’ll see that he contacted me and now we’re planning to meet. I’m pretty excited. Yakkity yak, new contact.

Last weekend I went to Vegas, which I will discuss in detail later. What’s important now is that I saw another person I used to know, this time from high school.

Unlike my friend from college, this is not a person I was particularly thrilled to see. I hadn’t seen her in at least 10 years and we weren’t exactly buddies when we knew each other. We hung out together a few times in elementary school, back in the good old days of being forced to play soccer and eat kiddie food. We quickly grew apart as she was an “athlete” and I was a “nerd.”

Despite being an athlete, she had a stocky frame, flat chest, protruding belly, and tree-trunk legs, and time had changed nothing. She also had a nasal problem as a child to which she adapted by breathing through her mouth, kind of like Napoleon Dynamite. That was still happening too.

I spotted her standing in the cab line at the Flamingo as my friends and I were gathering outside to board a limo that would take us to a wedding. This time, I had a few minutes to look closely and make sure it was her. She and her plain-looking friend were dressed in dumpy Midwest tourist garb and backpacks. You could tell they woke up one morning and said, “Let’s do something adventurous. Let’s go to Vegas!” They were so obviously single that to mention how I could tell would be an even greater tragedy.

She and I weren’t standing close enough for me to innocently say, “Amy?” to see if she’d turn around. Even if we were waiting for a regular cab instead of a limo, we wouldn’t have been in her plebian line anyway because a) we have a cab driver in Vegas that we call when we need to go places and b) Gus has Diamond status at all Harrah’s casinos now, so we wait in the Diamond line. More on that later too.

Since this girl and I weren’t friends before, I didn’t feel it was worth my time to walk the 30 or so feet to introduce myself or deal with the off-chance that it wasn’t actually her. So I just looked at her. I continued to look as my group boarded the limo. I guess I was hoping she’d see me looking at her and recognize me, or wonder what the hell my problem was, or both. It’s possible she did and chose not to do anything.

I wish she had though, because getting into a limo in Vegas with your man and a group of friends is the perfect circumstance under which to reunite with someone who thought she was too good to hang out with you. It doesn’t really matter though. I’ll see her fat ass and everyone else’s fat asses at the ten-year reunion next summer. If I’m even invited.

In conclusion, Amy Braunies of Naperville, Illinois, resident of the Naper Carriage Hill subdivision, graduate of Naperville Central High School, playing soccer, basketball, and possibly football needing only the assistance of a fake mustache and athletic cup, I saw you in Vegas. And what happens in Vegas… gets posted on my blog for everyone to read.