Somehow the giant pulsating death machine also known as Apple has convinced everyone that they need an iPhone. People have been in line for days. Pathetic people like this guy and the mayor of Philadelphia.
Although I’ve been in the market for a new phone ever since I took The Big Long Trip Where I Lost Half of My Belongings, I’m going to keep waiting for my wonder-phone to appear. After browsing through some of the 1,600+ articles, I know for sure this one isn’t it. Ignoring the fact that this “diety” of a phone is made by Apple, which everyone knows I despise, I am in awe that so many people want this phone even though it lacks so many features and capabilities.
1. No instant messaging. No AOL, no Yahoo, nothing. What the fuck? As an avid texter that is by far my largest gripe. Why would anyone get a phone without a chat client? Why why why?
2. Touch-screen keyboard. Looks like a pain in the ass to type and a have a decent amount of viewing space at the same time. But I guess since you can’t instant message on the damn thing, you won’t be doing much typing.
3. The signature Apple trash can. From the article, “…e-mail messages collapse down into a trash can.” So is it throwing out my e-mail or just hiding it from view? The last time I used an Apple computer (I think it was a G4), you were supposed to drag a disk onto the trash can icon when you wanted to eject it. Not when you wanted to delete information, which is the most intuitive explanation… Please give me just a moment to shudder in disgust.
4. Slow internet and poor phone signal. Having spent a considerable amount of time in rural Texas, I know not every phone is going to perform well everywhere. From the studies conducted AT&T; network signals, I’d have to be on the top floor of a building in one of the world’s largest cities just to make a phone call. Hey, wait a minute… Still, even I have to leave my house sometimes.
5. You can’t charge it like you’d charge a regular iPod. I used to tool around the country with a laptop, and it was nice being able to use it to charge my iPod before I got on a plane or something. In general, it’s easier to charge something with something else you already have than to set up a whole new apparatus in order to charge a self-important gadget.
6. Low battery life. I was used to charging my Sidekick every night until it fucking broke. But battery life is a huge concern for many people who use multi-purpose phones. If the iPhone is supposed to do everything but wipe my ass for me, it should have some extra juice, right?
7. You choose your calling plan through iTunes software. This is really low on the list since I can’t think of anything functionally wrong with that, but it seems really fucked up.
The second page of the article goes into more detail about iPhone’s pitfalls, but the ones listed above are my main issues. The author makes some excuses for the new phone’s shortcomings, but I won’t buy into them just yet. If another version comes out and right some of the wrongs, that would be pretty cool. Even then, however, I probably won’t be “thinking different” for awhile.