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Public cell phone usage is really obnoxious, but a necessary evil in today’s society. I’m used to seeing people on the street, in stores, on the bus, in movie theaters, and in restaurants using their phones with reckless abandon, talking loudly and flamboyantly about things that can obviously wait and could probably be tabled forever without making a difference in the world.

To me, there is one sacred place where I feel cell phone usage should be off-limits: the gym. I don’t care how important you are, the stationary bike isn’t your fucking office.

So some old man sauntered into MY gym this morning and mounted the stationary bike. His large gut suggested he may not be familiar with the unwritten rules of gym etiquitte… or simply the gym.

Anyway, he was quick to open his phone and begin yakkin’. This had to stop. I coughed loudly a few times. I could hear him talking over my music with the volume all the way up!

Desperate times call for desperate measures. I began to sing.

Have you heard me sing? Probably not. I only do it in the car by myself and in the shower… by myself. I have no musical talent whatsoever, and that’s okay. I’m happy with being an avid listener. So, luckily, when Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy” started playing, I knew all the words. I’ll post the lyrics below, but it really doesn’t quite capture the magic of shouting them like a cheerleader on crystal meth while running full speed on a treadmill.

He got off the phone. :-)

I’m too sexy for my love too sexy for my love
Love’s going to leave me

I’m too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts
And I’m too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan
New York and Japaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan

And I’m too sexy for your party
Too sexy for your party
No way I’m disco dancing

I’m a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk

I’m too sexy for my car too sexy for my car
Too sexy by faaaaaaaaaaaaaar
And I’m too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that

I’m a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I shake my little tush on the catwalk

I’m too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my

‘Cause I’m a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I shake my little tush on the catwalk

I’m too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat
Poor pussy poor pussy cat
I’m too sexy for my love too sexy for my love
Love’s going to leave me

And I’m too sexy for this song

This entry was posted by platkat on March 15, 2007 at 11:53 am under Uncategorized. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

6 Comments

  1. Robert Morton says:

    Power to the people! I’ll keep this one in my mind for when the FAA allows cell phones on airplanes :(

    March 19, 2007, 8:16 am

  2. Shayarin Bellah says:

    I cannot understand why students and scientist like this robotic mechanism so much.I really don’t like it personally. I believe that human is creating itself the weapon against the human society. I might be wrong but this is my thinking and for sure i will not buy any automatic mechanism devices at least in my house.

    May 13, 2010, 4:27 pm

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