Yesterday, Gus and I ventured into Brooklyn to meet Amy Sedaris, the creator and star of one of our favorite (and unfortunately cancelled) TV shows, Strangers with Candy. She was there to hold a book signing amidst a “Carnival of Cute”, which also involved shopping, live music, and cake decorating. When I told Gus about it, I wasn’t thinking about the other stuff, I was just thinking about how cool it would be to see Amy Sedaris, like she was going to somehow provide us with happiness and entertainment for hours and hours.

Upon entering the tight warehouse space full of bags, books, and jewelry, we quickly found that this event was more about shopping than anything else. Shopping, namely, for Amy’s new masterpiece, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence. Judging from her behavior, however, I don’t think she likes me much at all.

At first, we walked up empty-handed to the table where she was sitting, and I thumbed through some jewelry. I noticed her… bored, edgy. Given that I’m not very good at talking to famous people (discovered during my brief visit with my favorite singer Bjork in ’96), or pretty much anyone I don’t know, I decided to continue thumbing through jewelry and just bask in her greatness. Sure, I could have approached all drooling-fan style, but I think that would have been more annoying than saying nothing. She didn’t particularly appear to want to talk to people anyway.

Gus decided that we should get a book so we’d have a reason to talk to her. But what the hell are we going to do with a book about entertaining people? We threw wonderful parties at our house back in Austin, but we can’t do anything close to that type of entertaining here. So we made it a gift for a couple we know. By the way, Couple, if one of you is reading this, and you know who Amy Sedaris is, this book is probably for you. Please don’t spoil the surprise by telling your mate. KTHX.

We purchased the book on the other side of the room and the girl who rang us up wrote the couple’s names on a post-it note. We approached Amy’s table again. I said, “Hi,” and she barely looked up. I turned to Gus, who was holding the book. Amy then graced us with a moment’s attention and astutely asked, “Is this you guys?” referring to the post-it note. We said no, so she proceeded to write a darkly funny message on the inside cover (I won’t spoil that surprise), hand us back the book, and abruptly say, “Bye.”

Well, okay then! Don’t get me wrong, I still think she’s hilarious and I love everything I’ve seen her in, but WOW. I figured she’d be a little more talkative or nice or something that didn’t scream “mega-bitch in the schoolyard!” It’s not like she was being inundated with people; there was hardly a line at all when we were there. Maybe she was just sad about that and said, “Fuck it.” I don’t know, it was something to do. And now we have a non-Christmas present to give our non-Christmas-celebrating friends!

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