Sunday, October 08, 2006

Comedy 101


I think it's time some people in the world learned a few things about comedy and jokes. To provide a disclaimer, I may not be an actual "comedian" or even really that "funny," but I did hold my cell up to a microphone one time so that Gus could deliver his comedic routine to as part of a private comedy-karaoke showcase. I also view Comedy Central frequently and surround myself by goofy people who will not shy from the opportunity to provide a good laugh. Using these extremely strong credentials, I am delivering this short blurb on explaining what is funny by helping to define what is not.

I've had the displeasure of knowing people throughout my life that tend to cut people down, may it be for being gay, southern, or otherwise different, or simply because they wore a strange garment or bought music of questionable quality. I don't know if these societal confidence-choppers have a collective name (or did I just give them one?) but you've undoubtedly met one before. They mistake an excuse to be mean for being witty. There's a place for sarcasm, and it can be very funny, but only when there's a cleverness about it that is missing from the mind of most "choppers." These folks like to say things that are offensive and follow them with the phrase, "It was a joke." (I remember the days when these people used to say, "No offense" instead, but I think they were giving the objects of their torment negative ideas regarding their intentions, so the former phrase is now used in attempt to abstract listeners from such possibilities.)

Today, I stand on my virtual soapbox to say, "No, it's not."

This is a joke: "Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks."

This is not a joke: "Only stupid faggots like Insert Name would get that question wrong."

This is a joke: "Why is a woman like a hurricane? Because when she comes it's wet and wild and when she leaves she takes your house and car."

This is not a joke: "I'm reading this article about some fat, money-grubbing twat. It's probably about Insert Name but they changed the names to protect the nauseating."

This is a joke: "Boudreaux calls the doctor and says, 'Doc, doc, my wife Marie is in labor and da contractions are only two minutes apart!' The doctor asked, 'Is this her first child?' Boudreaux shouts, 'No, you idiot, this is her husband!'"

This is not a joke: "Or if you're from the bayou like Insert Name, you're probably too busy parking your ugly, retarded ass on a fishing boat to resolve that kind of issue."

Funny: Jabs at public figures who deserve them.

Not funny: Deliberately singling out someone in the room.

Funny: Clever inside jokes with close friends who share your sense of humor.

Not funny: Derogatory comments toward people you hardly know in large groups of people who hardly know you.

Funny: Anything on Mr. Show.

Not funny: You.

Get it? So quit it. Thanks.



Comments:
Jeez, what's your problem? You must be on your period or something.

Normally when I'm on my period, I shut myself off from the world and sit in a teepee for 3 days without eating, showering, or speaking to anyone of the male gender. I also make sure I have plenty of Cherokee hair.

What if one of the guys who walked into the bar is in the room?

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