Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Mailmories
This saw this poster at the post office today.
This is fucking absurd. I'm going to create memories with mail, rather than simply retell them to the letter's recipient in a typically subjective, poorly narrated fashion? And I'm going to do it with stamps no less?
And when we do this, America, let's use the Stop Family Violence stamp, especially when sending greeting cards to our elders. Let's use a government-subsidized entity that exists only for marketing whores and old people too scared of the internet to show our stance on family violence. And since creating memories with something as banal as a stamp on a letter is a stretch for many of us, let's just look back on some memories.
"Dear Dad, Happy Birthday! Remember that time you beat the fuck out of me with a lead pipe and threw me down the stairs? That didn't feel so good and I think you should stop. Love, Me."
And the Stop Family Violence stamp shows I mean it.
Some of you are starting to worry now, but you probably aren't half as worried as the line full of people at the post office who saw me take a picture of a stupid poster.
Another completely retarded thing I saw today was a 40-something-year-old Central American lady wearing a t-shirt that said, "Boy Inspector."
Boy inspection at your age is against the law here, lady. If you have sons, they're probably stocking up on Stop Family Violence stamps right now.
