PlatKat.com: Damn Skippy, I Put Ice in My Milk

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Damn Skippy, I Put Ice in My Milk

That's right, nothing's colder than ice* and nothing's better than a cold glass of skim milk if you're in the mood to consume dairy products. Everyone knows that milk gets nasty-warm like five seconds after you take it out of the fridge, and warm milk is the most disgusting thing you can drink, unless you're one of those people who likes to mix peanut butter, V8, jalepenos, Worcestershire sauce, white-out, dog vomit, and lighter fluid in a blender and dare your little brother to drink it. Not that I know anything about that; I don't even have a brother. But I do have a need for ice-cold milk, and the only thing that makes it ice-cold is ice. You can't complain about the ice watering it down, since you'll drink it faster if it's cold, and skim milk is practically water anyway. If you're drinking 2% or whole milk, the melting ice is even better because it will dilute it so it will taste like skim, which is clearly the best of all milks. Yeah, I said it: milks.

Everyone should always put ice in their milk!!

*Actually, that's not right. Anyone with a periodic table and a basic understanding of melting points knows that. But I guess the advertising folks at Dentyne weren't crazy about the slogan, "Nothing that humans can consume without burning off their tastebuds is colder than ice." Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue. Pun totally intended.

posted by platkat @ 11:02 AM