I was driving home yesterday when I got thinking about the word, “Beef” and how people used to use it as a verb synonymous with busting ass. For example, “Who beefed?” and “Don’t beef in the car, asshole.” I guess I’m actually looking for a way to be even less mature than writing FART with solemn determination on the Canary Roost chalkboard everytime I drink there. So please join me in the Bring Back Beef campaign, a serious effort that shall be generously backed by my wealthier donors who are reading about this campaign for the first time right now.

As with most campaigns, this one will have some underlying, special interest issues that will not be made public. In the eleventh hour, we should also bring back the old-school http://www.hampsterdance.com. They’ve totally sold out and tried to make an organized website with a “design” instead of just one long page with a bunch of obnoxious animated gifs on it.



4 Comments

  1. Hollywood Phony says:

    I just yell loudly, “oh damn, I shit my pants!” when I fart, even if I didn’t really shit my pants. I’m trying to bring back the hyperbole to Saturday night. Wait, is that hyperbole? Who cares.

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