Thursday, October 13, 2005
Brown People Love Me!
Just so you don't think I'm really a racist, I'd like to inform you that my best friends are Mexican. They are also black, gay, Jewish, orphaned, handicapped, and every other social underdog you can think of.
See? Here I am with a real Mexican (and some other guy; no one knows what the hell he is) making authentic Mexican tamales. Would a racist eat tamales that were made by a real Mexican? I'd definitely say not!
And here's another pendejo I used to work with.
Just kidding! That's Ram and he's Indian. If you think every brown guy in a sombrero is Mexican, I pity your lack of culture. I mean, if you want to pick and choose the groups of people with whom you're racially sensitive, that's your business, but I really suggest you open your mind and be a little more respectful of other people for a change.
See how I turned it around there? Ya know, *switch*switch*? See, now you're a racist and I'm politically correct.
Man, being politically correct is great! They give you free food, your own parking space, bumps to first class when you fly, daycare for your kids, discounts on health club memberships... Wait, no they don't. In fact, no one gains anything from political correctness because it's an idiotic tool used by pretentious pseudo-intellectuals as an excuse split hairs and listen to themselves talk.
That said, I'm going to get in touch with my roots by drinking a case of Bud Light, watching Nascar, and banging some dude with a mullet.
Addendum: Mexican Spanish is the only language I know that has a word for a thief who robs your house and then shits on the floor (zorrero). That must happen quite a bit down there in order for it to have its own word.
