While I was walking to the gym this morning, I saw a mid-sized SUV pull into the parking lot with a “W” sticker on it. The owner was a woman who looked to be in her mid-30s.
I approached her and said, “Excuse me, you have ‘W’ sticker on your car,” in the same tone you would inform someone that his or her shoes were untied.
She looked up at me, eyes growing cold and hollow. Two giant horns sprouted from her head as she grew fangs and claws that were sharper than razors. She yelled, “FUCK YOU!” and lunged toward me at full speed.
I picked up a sledgehammer, jumped onto the hood of her car, and started whaling on the windshield. “See what happens, lady? You see what happens when you let a stranger fuck you and millions of American citizens in the ass?”
Then I went inside and ran a few miles, and that was pretty much my morning.
There may be safety in numbers in Texas, but you can’t get away with this kind of shit in California.
miranda says:
That’s exactly why I don’t talk to people in the morning. I’d waste all the energy at the start of my day by killing them…then where would I be? Addicted to Red Bull again, I’m sure. It’s a vicious cycle.
September 1, 2005, 1:25 pmbricotrout says:
last week i saw someone had put the ‘W’ sticker on their back windshield upside down!
September 1, 2005, 8:30 pmi wondered if it was done purposefully in a mocking statement way or if the guy was truly an oblivious dumbass trying to support the prez.
either way, it was perfectly fitting.
Spinning Girl says:
then she ran into the store and stole a TV to “feed her family”, right?
September 1, 2005, 10:10 pmMama Scorpio says:
Yeah, but you haven’t lived til you’ve seen a bumper sticker on a white Crown Vic that reads *DUBYA* (blue stars, yellow writing). Even here in Texas, that image haunts me!
September 2, 2005, 6:58 amEarl Jenkin™ says:
I have a big white letter “E” on my car…Big Whitey!
September 2, 2005, 5:40 pmjamwall says:
i love those “big lebowski” moments!
September 2, 2005, 8:36 pm