PlatKat.com: The Whole Story

Thursday, April 07, 2005

The Whole Story

The title of this post might suggest that I'm about to tell you the whole story. But it's actually a request to everyone who ever talks to me to give me the whole story whenever offering favors, jobs, explanations, etc.

When I moved in, my roommate Larry gave me a two months' free AOL CD that he got in the mail and let me use his phone number to establish a dial-up connection. I was elated to be able to get back on the internet so quickly, so I logged on immediately.

Last night, Larry came into my room and saw me on the computer. He said, "Just so you know, you're using a business line. I get charged by the minute no matter where you're calling. When you moved in, I wanted to be nice and get you set up, but if you're going to be on every night, we should get you your own phone line."

My immediate mental reaction: Oh shit.

Why? Because when I logged on, I never logged off.

I'm used to having the internet 24/7, and since I had found a number that was local, I thought I was being charged for a local call and that's it. Larry admitted that he has more phones than he probably needs, so I didn't even think about tying up that line because he has his other line and his cell phones to conduct his business. He also admitted that the only reason he kept the business line that I was using was because his ex-girlfriend might call sometime.

Okay. If you are paying X amount of dollars a month to keep a line open just in case you might score some previously sampled poon, you seriously need to get out more.

So anyway, Larry offered to pay for the time prior to yesterday night, but I don't think he understands how high his phone bill is going to be. I made a few hundred dollars on Party Poker in the last couple of days. I guess I know where most of it's going.

On the topic of stupid phone stories, here's another one my friend told me yesterday. Names have been changed to protect the stupid and the innocent. Hey, those make pretty good names...

It's the end of the workday at an office building in Austin. Stupid is scuttling out the door, juggling a giant bag, giant binder, and other miscellaneous giant items. Innocent sees Stupid struggling and tries to help.

Stupid: Darn, I can't find my phone.

Innocent: Would you like me to call it so you can hear it ring?

Stupid: Oh that would be so great! Here's the number...

Innocent dials the number and Stupid's phone rings from her giant binder.

Stupid: (Unzipping her binder) Thank you so much!

Innocent: No problem.

The next day, Innocent comes to work to find a barrage of calls on her voice mail. The phone rings again and Innocent answers it.

Innocent: Hello?

Stupid: I found your number on my phone last night. Who are you and why are you calling me?

Fin

Some people really shouldn't have phones. Or waste the earth's precious air.

posted by platkat @ 8:35 AM