Archive for March, 2005

Man, these tax cuts are great. What tax cuts? I just wrote a check for over $900 to the United States Treasury. Super. All the while, I have friends that make more money than me planning how they’re going to spend their tax refunds. Now how am I supposed to put food on my family? If things aren’t changing, they’re staying the same.

The Free Design was right: kites are fun. We spent the day at the Zilker Kite Festival (there’s a website for the event, but I’ll spare you) and this time, I actually brought a kite.

My kite was a big colorful parrot named Pancho. Despite the occassional nosedive and an unfortunate tangle with a wayward fish, Pancho was a high-flying, wind-catching machine, unlike Lefty, his sad sidekick bird-kite, which was stuck in a tree.

After we made the rounds at Zilker and let Zoey sniff, lick, or otherwise mingle with every person and dog in our path, we headed to Rounders on West 6th Street. I had passed the place numerous times, but was unaware of the extent of its coolness.

Incidentally, I added Austin Java to my list of Dog-Friendly Spots in Austin. Not because it was new or surprising, but because of my oversight. I should have known that when I went a few months ago and saw a zillion dogs there. Apparently, I needed to bring Zoey there before I could solidify the information in my mind. Of course, I’m still of the opinion that I should be able to bring Zoey everywhere. But until that’s possible, I’ll continue attempting to catalog the “safe” places for interspecies companionship.

I decided to get a leg up on the pile this afternoon and take out the trash before dinner. As I pulled the garbage can to a halt at the curb, I heard some funny screaming. At first, it sounded like a child, perhaps in one of the yards behind my house. I paused and listened further.

Silly, silly me. That wasn’t a kid. It was my neighbor fucking the shit out of his Asian stripper girlfriend with the windows open.

I listened for at least a full minute, amazed that I was able to hear the ooohing and uuuhing with such great clarity. I felt compelled to yell something, but I just walked back into the garage giggling like a rotten high school kid. I think JL owes me one for preserving the moment.

I had lunch with some friends the other day and got a fortune cookie afterward. It made some blanket statement about my sparkling personality and I opted to trade it for Emily’s fortune. It said, “You are a candidate for a big promotion.” And since Emily doesn’t have a job, it Did Not Make Sense. (Chewbacca)

Obviously, I didn’t get a promotion, and I’m left thinking that fortune cookies could be more informative than they currently are. They should have news you can use, like “Those jerk friends of yours are back-stabbers. Don’t hang out with them.” Or “Someone is plotting to kill you.” Or “Taking your usual route home will lead to unprecedented danger.”

Now there’s some advice that could really help a person out. I’m not sure what company is responsible for the material found in fortune cookies, but they might benefit from changing out a few of the stale employees, TV sitcom style.