PlatKat.com: Gimpilicious!

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Gimpilicious!

I ran the Freescale Half Marathon on Sunday and now my legs don't work right. I wasn't planning to run this race until a day or two before the online registration deadline. It was one of my characteristic off-center decisions on the fly, where I shrug my shoulders and say, "I guess I'll (fill in the blank). Why not?" The blank has included things such as "dye my hair pink", "audition for The Weakest Link, and "move to Austin and become a hippie".

At 6am I awoke to the sound of thunder and pouring rain. I checked the weather on a number of news stations and watched a canned feature story about the marathon on News 8 Austin. There was no mention of how the weather was affecting the beginning of the race, of course. The race was to begin at 7am by the old Bahama Breeze which now houses the new Baby A's where I drank that nasty margarita that one time.

Being my typical self, I arrived at the starting line 10 minutes after the race began. The rain had completely stopped only minutes before, and thus I believe I missed very little. I stretched briefly (which came back to bite me later) and began to run.

The first couple blocks were a ghost town. Garbage bags littered the path, and a few people who were at the far end of the initial cheering section walked in the opposite direction back to their cars. A bunch of people started yelling and cheering for me. I yelled, "Which way do I turn?" And they yelled, "Keep going, you'll be fine." So I did, and I was.

I caught up with the stragglers quicker than I imagined, and by the time we had to turn the corner, I was running with the pack.

An interracial couple looked to be running at my pace, so I followed them. My guess was confirmed when the girl check her watch and commented, "We're running at a ten-minute pace."

I got bored and decided to follow a couple of Mexican girls in matching pink shorts and black tops. I didn't stay with them for long, as I caught a whiff of their stinky cheap perfume.

I ran among a multitude of goofy hats and t-shirts made in memory of dead people, including Jesus, everyone's favorite dead person. Also notable were a man skipping rope the entire way and another man running backward.

I watched the sunrise and listened to Deep Dish the first few miles. Once the sun was completely out and reflecting all the newly fallen rain on the pavement, I resigned myself to looking at the shoes of the people in front of me because I couldn't see anything in any other direction.

After I passed the 5K and 10K markers, I wasn't sure how to feel about the big signs that read "Mile 8", "Mile 10", and so on. Throughout the last mile, however, I can honestly say I felt a kind of pain with which I was previously unfamiliar. I just wanted it to end. The band that played by the UT stadium around Mile 12 made me throw up in my mouth a little.

When I reached the half-marathon finish line, I threw up a lot. I had not monitored my water intake very well, and it all came out while some poor teenaged volunteer named Michelle watched. I apologized for subjecting her to such nastiness, and went to look for Gus who had relocated around town several times to cheer for me.

He drove me to the real finish line and I inhaled a sausage wrap. I tried to walk around and enjoy myself, but I was tired and sore. I stayed home yesterday, it was so bad. Christmas informed me that many others were gimping around work yesterday, but today I found that several other people took the day off as well. I didn't think I'd be able to drive, and given my driving abilities, it's probably better that I didn't try.

Some people asked me if I wanted to run the half again next year. We'll have to see about that one.

posted by platkat @ 2:34 PM