A couple of weeks ago, Gus threw a nice birthday party for me. A bunch of our friends came bearing gifts of white wine and DVDs (do these folks know me well or what!).
Unfortunately, a certain person who was not invited to the party had to deal with the harsh trials and tribulations of answering the innocent question, “Why didn’t you go to Kat’s birthday party?” that was asked of him at work the following week.
Overcoming in the face of extreme adversity, he took matters into his own hands. He would not be made uncomfortable anymore! He immediately notified his and Gus’s boss of these fatal injustices. How dare Gus throw a party for his beloved girlfriend and only invite their friends? Why did he not also include people who stopped speaking to him or hanging out with him years ago? The nerve!
The boss in question knows that our socially inept protagonist could have chosen any of the following responses:
“I was busy that night.”
“No, we don’t really hang out.”
or even, “I don’t like Kat and Gus. They can go jump in a lake.”
However, this authority figure decided to confront Gus personally.
Silly and childish as the matter truly is, I believe it should have stopped before this point. It’s not Gus’s problem that this person is uncomfortable. If this person wants to publicize his personal problems, that’s his issue. Short of openly hanging out with our friends en masse, there’s nothing we can do about how this person feels. If he really wants to be included, all he has to do is be nice to us. We’re not terribly picky.
But he doesn’t seem any closer to doing that, which is fine. However, it is highly inappropriate to bring up such matters in a work environment. A senior-level manager at a tech company should not be expected to play the role of an elementary school teacher. I find it ridiculous that the social woes of this individual were entertained for even a moment of company time.
As an added post script, I would like to restate my belief that the best way to solve a personal problem is to approach the person who is bothering you directly and honestly. If that doesn’t work, move on and avoid making everyone else miserable.
Jim B says:
While your final thought is intelligent, sound advice, I have to say I prefer the title of your post.
I have been a self-admitted social retard for quite some time. In fact, certain circles credit me with coining the phrase “social mongoloid”. So, my question is “Who do I blame?” Will Gus’s boss listen to my issues stemming from my social awkardness? What does he charge?
Maybe this individual would be a lot happier if he were to start the “Why Gus and Kat Suck” blog, although I am not convinced it is a fertile topic. Well, if you think it will help, send him here.
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