So there are like three or four flies buzzing around my house right now. I’m not where they came from, but they’re here, they’re queer, and I’m used to them. When flies are about to die, they fly slower. I came across Grandpa Fly while I was doing laundry just now. I grabbed a box of fabric softener and waited till it landed on a hard surface so I could smash its lights out. It landed on the shelf above the washer and I went for it. But instead of staying smashed on the shelf, it fell… right into the open washer full of my clothes. So now I’m going to be walking around in dead-fly clothes all week. Awesome.